First Time Sex Tips

So you have now entered your pubescent years and the only thing that grasps any interest of yours is first time sex tips for your first "drive around the block." The first time can be rather difficult and quite scary; many learned that the hard way. Before you delve into that ever so willing female, there are a few tips and tricks you should be aware of before trading in that v-card.

1. Sex is not like porn. In fact, everything about pornography is a lie.  o not take any tips or get any ideas from your favorite skin flick, because, everything about it is a lie. In porn, women fellate those shafts like they are some sort of dreamlike, delectable candy, there are no breaks for a quick rest to catch your breath, no pubic hair getting in your mouth. Take it slow, but be confident.
2. Keep it natural. You don't want to introduce any fancy gadgets or lubricants. Using these always increase the risk of awkward sex. And your first time will be awkward enough. Spit is the best lube.
3. Keep it safe. Safe sex is great sex. Condoms or other forms of birth control are always a good idea. After all it is your first time, and you don't want to have a child right at the starting line. Or worse, you don't want to contract some sort of sexual disease that ruins your sexual career in its entirety. Condoms are also beneficial in preventing that early ejaculation, and, yes you will cum mighty quickly. It's quite an experience.
4. Get the right hole. As it turns out, the fudge shop is significantly close to the magic entrance and that perineum is paper thin. If it's not slippery, don't go for it.
5. No post communication. After you perform intercourse for the first time, you must never talk to that lucky lady after it has happened. This is for your sake.  The first time is going to be bad, you will be embarrassed and she will always think less of you. So when it comes to choosing, choose wisely. 

Right before you're about to saddle up the horse for the very first time, keep in mind these very helpful and factual tips. Heeding these five tips will improve not only your first time experience, but her experience as well, whether it is her premiere or has been far too long since she's lain with a man.